But then I sort of caught myself and realized that even if I were living that way, that's really not what life is all about. I might feel good and be somewhat happy, at least for a while, but that would still be missing the point. Many people think that if you live a good life, be a good person, provide for yourself and your family, help others, etc., you have lived a good life. I haven't done all of those things, but I'm somewhat of a "good person", and even seem to manage to inspire people by the way I live despite the medical condition I was born with (which is called Treacher Collins Syndrome, for those who don't know).
But coming from a Christian worldview, I know that when it really comes down to it, none of that stuff matters. Don't get me wrong, all those things are good in and of themselves. But when you're talking about what life is all about—or the meaning of life, if you will—I know that the primary purpose that we are here for is to be in relationship with God. Do that, and everything else listed above will come naturally through and as a result of that. Thus, that ought to be my primary concern.
But the devil is smart, and knows that if my time and energy is going elsewhere, he's winning. This is true even to the extent that my life could look as good as can be by the aforementioned measures—I could be the most law-abiding, moral person in the world, volunteering my time to help others, raise a family who I love, and still end up in hell. That may sound like a shock to some people, but I believe it's true. Anything we do in our lives that doesn't include being in a relationship with God or sharing Him with others, is a victory in the devil's book. He doesn't have to destroy our lives, or lead us to destroy others. All he cares about is our eternal destination—whether we spend eternity with God, or separated from God, as he is—and that is dependent upon whether or not we know God. In fact, Satan probably prefers that we are happy and successful in life by the aforementioned measures. Because as long as we are distracted/busy/preoccupied/etc with our own lives and making ourselves and/or others happy, we won't have any energy left for God.
And that's where I stand. I believe I have entered into a relationship with God, but the last several years, I've been putting all my energy into myself. My primary concern has been making myself happy, and that has been the single most influential factor in almost every decision I make. That may sound bad, but it's true. For me, I see my life as following one of two paths. Either God will be at the center of my life, or I will. If I choose the former, I believe life will work out exactly as it should. I will be happy, my life will be a blessing and benefit to others, and most importantly, God will know me. If I follow the latter, I may have some fun and do some good and seem to live a pretty successful life; but in the end, it will be a failure. Because in the big picture of eternity, this life is but a blip on the radar. Hence, what happens in it matters little to Satan, or perhaps even to God. What matters most to both of them, I believe, is whether I am in relationship with God, and leading others to Him. If I am, God gets what He wants and what He created me for. If not, Satan wins, because that's less people spending eternity with God, and more people spending eternity with Him (which, the fact that we're with him is probably beside the point; i.e., I don't think he wants to torture us for eternity, he just wants us to be like him, separated from God).
You would think that since I realize all this, and say I believe it, that I would change and surrender my life to Christ. But as it stands now, I'm having too much fun serving myself (dancing, going to concerts, going on trips, going out, making friends, pursuing girls, pursuing whatever it is that's on my mind, etc.) that I don't have much desire or incentive to serve God. That sounds terrible to say, but that's where I'm at. And again, that's all it takes for Satan to get what he wants. Even if I'm already saved, if I'm living a life where God isn't a big part of it, I'm less inclined to share the gospel with others, and Satan will take that every day he can. We'll see what the future holds. Hopefully, I'll come to a point of surrender. That could come by a variety of methods. My hope is that it comes "gently", and not by tragedy, but that remains to be seen. God knows how the story will play out. I don't, but I do have some control over it...
